First Date

Daria sat at the kitchen table look miserable laying her head down and arms stretched out in front of her, as her parents and sister milled around her.

“Daria there’s nothing wrong with having self esteem issues.” Her mother Helen Morgendorffer said between comments into the phone attached to her ear.
“Mother I can’t have a sister who’s SPECIAL, it will totally destroy my popularity.” Her younger sister whined.
“Not now Quinn.” Helen said after ending her call.
“What’s wrong kiddo?” Jake her father asked.
“It’s my first week at a new school and they have already determined I have issues and stuck me in a class with a fruitcake teacher all to prove what a complete loser I really am.” Daria sighed.
Her family got quiet and stared at her.
“That didn’t sound like a statement of a person who has high self esteem.” Helen said cautiously.
“Well since I did have high self esteem, I decided to go out after school and lose it so I can fit in with the rest of the class.” Daria answered.
“Did something happen today Daria.” Helen asked gently.
“Nothing you could help with or even really care about.” Daria moaned.
“Daria, that’s not fair.” Helen struggled keeping her anger in check.
“Careful mom if you keep paying attention to me, Quinn might feel neglected.” Daria tossed out.
“Oh GOD she really does have self esteem issues.” Quinn said looking shocked.

A sudden knocking on the front door distracted both parents who went to answer the door and left Daria alone with her sister.
“I don’t suppose money could fix this maybe a makeover it would be fun and you don’t have to keep it.” Quinn mused.
“If it will make you leave me alone then sure whatever, maybe later.” Daria agreed.
“Really, wow; this is worst than I thought. I’ll have to prepare.” Quinn said dashing upstairs as Daria groaned thankful for the peace but concerned about the price she was going to have to pay for it.
At the door Helen was greeted with a tall girl dressed in grey baggy shorts and black shirt with a large red coat and black leggings wearing oversized combat boots that seemed to match the pair that she kept hoping Daria would stop wearing. Her black hair and red lips were almost at the same height as Helen’s. Strong blue eyes stared back at her.
“Hello.” Helen answered the door.
“Umm hi, I’m Jane.. Jane Lane. I go to school with Daria and we’re in the self esteem class together and well she left her backpack at my house after school and I thought what the hell I would come over and bring it to her around dinner time to wrangle myself an invite to free food.” Jane said with a smirk.
“Are you a friend of Daria’s?” Helen asked hopefully.
“Well we just met but I am looking to fill an empty slot in my address book at the moment.” Jane shrugged.
“Come in, where are my manners, come in.” Helen said cheerfully.

She led Jane into the living room and went on into the kitchen to get Daria.
“Daria, your friend, Jane I think it was, is here; she brought your backpack and seems to be implying she would like to stay for dinner and I think it would be great to have her over.” Helen said.
“Tell her I died.” Daria groaned.
“Whatever for Daria, she certainly seems …. Well she is… don’t you like her?” Helen asked.
Daria groaned.
“There’s my Amiga. Hey Mrs. Morgendorffer I think I know what’s wrong.” Jane said coming into the kitchen.
“You know I was kidding don’t you Daria, it was just a joke.” Jane said sitting on the table next to Daria’s head.
“What’s this about?” Helen asked concerned.
“I thought we were having fun and everything and we have a lot in common, OK mostly the fact we hate everyone else at school but it seemed to be the start of a grand friendship thing or whatever.” Jane sighed.
“We were.” Daria answered from the table.
“I was just kidding, I wasn’t going to really kiss you. I’m not like gay or anything.” Jane said.
Daria groaned.
“Really I’m not..” Jane started.
“Please stop telling me that.” Daria interrupted.
“But I just don’t want to lose a friend before we even try to take over the world or hold up a liquor store.” Jane pressed.
“I’m gay Jane.” Daria said suddenly.
“Sorry.” Jane said as the entire room had gotten deathly quiet. Jake picked up the bottle of Gin he was using to make a martini with and started drinking straight from it. Helen was white as a ghost.

“It’s my first week at a new school and they stick me in that stupid class and there’s a girl, great looking, smart, and funny and the bluest eyes. We hit it off and start joking around and then we go back to her house and hang out and then she says she’s going to kiss me. Then I realized you were joking and that’s why I left. I’m gay; I thought I had met someone special.” Daria said into the table but her voice still broke.
“So you like me.” Jane said smiling.
“Yes.” Daria said and the tears were clear in her voice.
“So why didn’t you ask me out?” Jane asked.
“I did and we went out for pizza, remember; you were there, I even got your number.” Daria said with a loud sigh.
“Our first date.” Jane laughed.
“Jane, please don’t make fun of her.” Helen started clearly planning on saying more but Daria’s head popped up from the table and looked up at Jane.
“First implies that there will be a second.” Daria said her eyes red and wet.
“Well, I expect better than pizza on that date.” Jane said calmly.
“But you said you weren’t gay.” Daria said looking mildly confused.
“Ya when it I thought that it made you run from my house like I grew a third head or something.” Jane smirked.
“Where’s the second, you aren’t a well you know are you.” Daria said moving her eyes up and down Jane.
“No adams apple and you will just have to find out.” Jane teased.
“Daria you are not gay, you’re just confused.” Helen said loudly.
Daria looked at her mother strangely.
“You didn’t have a problem with any of my other girlfriends so why now?” Daria said looking truly confused.
“What, what.” Jake cried out.
“What other girlfriends?” Helen demanded.
“Judy and Rebecca or Marsha.” Daria answered looking at her mother like she thought she had gone mad.
“What, you were dating them.” Helen seemed shocked.
“You caught me in the shower with Rebecca, what did you think we were doing?” Daria replied.
Quinn came downstairs looking for the source of the yelling and listened as she stood next to the fridge opening a soda.
“I don’t know what you’re playing out, Me and Judy would go on double dates with Quinn and her boyfriends all the time.” Daria said sounding angry.
“You were dating Judy?” Quinn said feeling somewhat out of the loop.
“You saw us make out!” Daria said shaking her head.
“I thought it was just to tease the guys. You dated Judy, that’s means your .. oh my GOD.” Quinn said dropping her diet soda on the floor sending up a spray that doused her. Quinn didn’t even seem to notice.
“So you weren’t kidding when you said they were clueless.” Jane smirked.
“I think I was giving them too much credit.” Daria groaned but it turned into a smile as Jane started rubbing her back.
“Hey a gay sister might even make me even more popular.” Quinn shrugged and started out of the room.
“Daria does this mean I get to do two makeovers tonight.” Quinn said as she turned the corner.
“What?” Jane said pretending to look frightened.
“I agreed to let her do a makeover on me to get her to leave me alone.” Daria groaned and started to lower her head only to have it directed to rest on Jane’s lap which she enjoyed far more than the table.
“Poor baby, I guess I can let her do my nails or whatever.” Jane said.
“I doubt we will escape with our selves so intact.” Daria laughed.
“Should I be afraid?” Jane asked looking concerned.
“Well at least you will get a frozen dinner that’s not to burnt and almost tastes like the cardboard it came in.” Daria offered.
“What’s for dinner?” Jane asked smiling.
“Lasagna.” Daria said and tried not to shudder.
“Really, I’m in.” Jane said and looked pleased.
“I’m not sure …” Helen started.
“But you said it would be great to have her over for dinner, this sudden reluctance isn’t some kind of latent hostility toward homosexuals is it.” Daria pressed.
“No, of course not, Jane is welcome to dinner. Jake, stop drinking like that.” Helen said turning her attention to her husband.
“Want to come up to my room until dinner?” Daria asked Jane.
“Well I guess I do owe you for the pizza so what’s the going put out rate for half a large pizza.” Jane quizzed with a smile as Daria pulled her up the stairs.
“Kissing and groping but nothing under the clothes or below the waist until the menu doesn’t have funny characters on it and you hold it in your hand.” Quinn said as she passed them on the stairs.