Pizza King Joke.

The Pizza King was crowded for a Thursday and Daria groaned as she slid back into their booth and both Tom and Jane growled as they reached for pizza.
"Thanks for inviting me tonight guys, I haven't had a slice in four days, ever since Trent's current lovetoy started cooking that micro or macro or what kind of diet food she eats." Jane said digging into a slice reminding Daria of a lion eating a still kicking elk.
"yoghr welumme." Tom said through a slice he was busy shoving in his mouth.
"I really wanted to spend some time together with you and then Tom showed up starving after spending some time with his parents and I knew you would be hungry so kill two birds with one stone or poisoned pizza as it is." Daria said with the evilest grin she could manage.
Tom slowly swallowed the bite of pizza in his mouth trying to remember if there was anything he may have said or done that might be causing his possible downfall then upon failing to find anything returned to eating.
Jane shrugged. "As long as I get to finish this pizza you can do whatever you want to me."
Daria raised an eyebrow and couldn't hide a small grin which Jane saw and started choking.
Tom and Daria patted her on the back and once death was no longer an issue Jane took a deep drink of soda and stared at Daria who pretended not to notice.

Brittney Taylor and Kevin walked over to their table and stood without speaking for almost a solid minute before Daria felt forced to say "Hi."
"Hi Daria." Brittney said and continued staring.
Daria noticed that most of the Lawndale student body she knew was sitting at tables inside the small restaurant, even the fashion club was there.
"Daria, can I ask you something?" Brittney said with a frown.
:Crap does she know?: Was all Daria could think of.
"Isn't it hard to hang out with the boy you stole from your best friend and the best friend you stole him from at the same time?" Brittney asked not waiting for an answer to her first question.
"Ummm." Was all Daria could come up with but she was relieved this was the topic of discussion and dismayed at the same time. :Did I want her to know: Plagued Daria's thoughts.
Jane seeing the subtle battle of emotion going through Daria finished her mouthful of pizza and decided to play hero and have some fun.
"Well It's just sex, first me and Tom now Daria and Tom." Daria heard several chairs turn on the floor as people suddenly became interested in the conversion.
"Oh." Brittney said looking confused which wasn't that new of a look for her but also interested, which was.
Daria saw that look reflected on the faces of half the restaurant and smiled. :This is going to be good:
"Since Jane couldn't keep up with Tom in the bed, I thought I would give it a try but I found out he was to much man for me alone." Daria said.
"I told you it wasn't me." Jane said.
"It was a lesson I needed to learn the hard way." Daria admitted.
"That's when we all started having sex together." Jane added. Daria smiled when she heard a drink cup hit the floor.
"At the same time?" Brittney asked looking shocked and scandalized.
"Is there another way?" Jane asked calmly.
"Well you know what they say about brainy chicks, all quiet at school but get in their bedroom at midnight and they go wild. Just pass the entrance exam and anything goes." Tom said putting his arms around both Jane and Daria.
"Really." Kevin asked and looked stunned when Daria and Jane nodded.
"Well after five straight hours, I needed a break, I mean first a shift at TnA, the club downtown then a night or two with him rocking my world and anyone would feel used up." Daria said trying to look exhausted. It was an entire pizza tray that hit the floor then.
"Yo, your the man." Kevin said looking at Tom approvingly.
"And on the rare occasion when Tom doesn't take care of all our needs, we finish up each other." Jane said. Upchuck hit the floor at this point trying not to choke to death but no one else noticed.
"I thought we weren't going to tell anyone about that." Tom said looking hurt.
"Now Tom it's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure lots of the guys here have had nights when they couldn't go on after four hours." Jane said patting him on the arm understandingly.
Daria watched most of the guys that were listening start inspecting the floor and Brittney looked at Kevin with disgust before smacking him on the back of the head.
"So you’re not in love?" Brittney asked looking like her brain had finally given up.
"Well yes, but not with Tom." Jane said.
"Oh just tell everybody that I'm just a sex toy." Tom groaned.
"Jane is my soul mate and we will be together forever." Daria said with a smile.
"I love you Daria." Jane said.
"I love you Jane." Daria said unable to help smiling.
The two leaned across Tom and kissed passionately for several minutes.
Brittney was covering her face with her hair trying to block out the sight and see everything at once.
"Dude." Kevin said clearly torn between the show of watching two girls kiss and the fact they were both brains.
Daria scanned the room and took in the damage. Brittney and Kevin were in overload, Upchuck seemed to be dying on the floor. The fashion club was trying to wake Stacy up and Mack and Jodie were looking like a train wreck. While the rest of her classmates were in various stages of shock as well.
Quinn stepped over Upchuck and walked over and handed Daria the cell phone she was carrying.
"I was on the phone with mom and dad when you started and they heard the whole thing. Dad passed out at TnA club and Mom stopped making sense somewhere around couldn't go on after four hours." Quinn grinned.
"But I don't want to hide anymore, can't people just love me for who I am." Daria said loudly before hanging up the phone.
"Daaarria, now they'll think you were serious." Quinn groaned and stomped away.

The crowd slowly moved away and Tom cleared his throat and whispered. "I know it was all in fun but I'm not going to be able to leave the booth for a while."
"Wow." Jane said looking under the table.
"Well I want to get busy now, coming Jane." Daria said cruelly.
"Of course my love." Jane joked as the two girls slid out of the booth and headed out the door.
"That's so wrong." Tom muttered before noticing several girls were staring at him, looking hungry. :Oh god I'm doomed.:

Mack and Jodie watched them leave and Mack pulled out a steel container then took several shots from the hip flask before handing it over to Jodie who did likewise.
"Were they kidding?" Mack asked.
"I don't know oh my god I don't know." Jodie answer then took another pull from the flask.

Daria and Jane laughed their way down the sidewalk until Jane declared she had as much fun as she could stand in one day and headed home leaving Daria nothing to do but to go home and face the music.

Just a scene that was out there for a story I decided to kill but I thought it was really funny so I wanted to share.