Run

Her feet sent out a steady tempo as they rose and fell on the street, the sound pushed her on ward as she tried to block out the crowds around her. She was a runner, some people run, faster or slower but she was a runner. She truly believed that if she was put on this earth for any kind of purpose it would involve running.

She was out in front away from the main pack and still going strong as she saw the one mile marker. As she drew closer and closer gaining more ground on the few that were in front of her, she let herself relax. The roar of the crowd blocked out any sounds but a glint of reflected light caught her eye and she turned her head slightly and saw the ghost.

Her rhythm was thrown off as it moved down the street, going in the opposite direction she was running. :No way!: She thought.

It shocked her but she pushed through the surprise and poured everything she had into a last burst of energy as she passed two more people and crossed the finish line.

Several people started moving around her offering water and towels and hundreds of flash bulbs went of, it looked like the twinkling lights on a Christmas tree. She waved to the cheers as she poured half a cup of water over her head. The ghost pushed to the back of her mind for the time being.

“How does it feel to be the first woman to cross the finish line?” Some one caller from the group of reporters being held back by the police.

She held up a thumb and grinned.

“2nd place overall and the first woman, how does this compare to your silver medal from the Olympics.” An older female reporter called to her.

Jane smirked and walked over to the reporters and looked directly at the woman who asked.
“Well the Boston Marathon is almost as old as the Olympics so it feels pretty damn good to do so well.” She answered with her trademark smile, the same one she always had when she crossed the finishing line.

After three hours of interviews and pictures for reporters and fans, she cried off and got a ride to her hotel from some city official that kept telling her how happy they were to have the Jane Lane here for this year’s event.

She pulled off her clothes, dropping then onto the floor as she made her way to the bathroom and drew a hot bath and crawled inside. More than 26 miles and she wasn’t hurting yet but she would be soon enough.

:Damn, I wanted to win. 6 seconds behind the leader. Damn and double damn.: Jane thought as she let her muscles surrender to the soothing warmth of the water.

She let herself drift away but the same thought kept returning.
:Was that really her?:


She climbed out of the tub after an hour and quickly dressed in sweats and started pacing.

“Why would she be in Boston, she hated sports. Get it together Lane your slipping.” Jane said to herself as she traced a pattern into the floor as she tried to think.

She knew what she was going to do before she admitted it to herself as she slide her wallet into her pocket and tied on a new pair of sneakers.
“Damn it.” Jane said and grabbed her jacket and cell phone and after making sure she had the card for her room, quickly exited.

When she hit the street, she hailed a taxi and climbed in.

“Where to Miss.?” The driver asked.

“This is going to sound strange but the one mile marker for the marathon.” Jane answered.

“Not a problem.” He smirked and pulled from the curb.

“Is that the start marker or the finish?” He asked.

“The finish.” She answered.

“About 10 minutes in this traffic but I can get you there, don’t worry.” The driver laughed.


He left her out on the corner and she thanked him with a generous tip and started looking around. There were several shops and businesses lining the street on this side but none looked like anything her prey would need to shop at.

She started asking various clerks and salespeople if they saw anyone matching the description until she realized she was describing a high school and she sat down and tried to remember.

:She still had the glasses but there wasn’t a green jacket. I think she was wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood down and blue jeans. Her hair was different, longer a lot longer.: Jane thought and then resumed her questioning of the various people in the shops until she got an answer.

“Miss. Morgendorffer, sure I saw her earlier. She’s here every week to check on my collection and see if I’ve gotten anything new.” The ancient owner of a bookstore told her.

“It was her.” Jane said and felt relieved.

“Yep, she used to come here every day almost before she transferred schools.” The old man said with a sad little smile.

“Thank you, do you have an address or a number.” Jane hoped.

“No nothing like that.” The old man said shaking his head.

Jane left the store and started walking down the street in the direction she had seen Daria walk in but there was nothing to give her a clue as to the girl’s location.

:She must have come up here for college and knowing her, she’s teaching it by now.: Jane mused in her head.

She sat down and remembered the last conversion she had with an old friend.

It was right after school and Jane wanted to catch Daria before she got home and talk about the fight they had just had concerning Jane getting a by on her Math test.

“Wait up Shorty.” Jane said catching up to the brown haired girl.

“Don’t you have practice, aren’t you worried your math grade will drop if you’re late?” Daria said ruthlessly.

“Look, maybe your right about the test.” Jane tried.

“Maybe, I’m really not liking what you’re turning into.” Daria said forcefully.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jane replied angered.

“You act like some kind of outcast who loves being different but the first chance you get you run off and join the team and fall in line.” Daria answered harshly.

“That’s not fair, Daria. I like to run and this could be my chance to get into a decent school, come college time. It’s not like my parents have money or anything.” Jane tossed at the shorter girl.

“Sure it’s all for school, what’s the point of going to school if you get pushed through without doing the work.” Daria answered.

“Look I’m trying to make up, not start another fight. I like to run and I’m going to keep running. Maybe I do like to win something for a change and ya I took a shortcut and I’m willing to admit it was screwed up but why are you overreacting?” Jane said tired of fighting.

“You just don’t get it.” Daria said shaking her head looking disappointed.

“No you don’t get it, I thought hey I can still be friends with her and I don’t care what people think even if I am a jock now but if you don’t want to concede anything and at least try to be civil then you can kiss my ass.” Jane said.

“I can’t be friends with someone who would turn their back on everything that they claimed mattered to them for popularity or success.” Daria said and turned away from her and started walking away.

“So just like that we’re done, no appeal, no second chance, just so long it’s over.” Jane said to her back.

“If you ever see my friend tell her, … tell her, I’m missing her already.” Daria said without looking back.

“You’re a self righteous bitch.” Jane yelled back and turned and ran the other way.


:And that was that. Don’t think we said three words to each other for the rest of school.: Jane thought as she replayed the event in her mind.
:I was to proud to admit she was right and she was to stubborn to give me the chance to crawl back. God we were a pair.: Jane laughed in her head.

Jane stood up and looked around and tried to figure out why she was looking so hard for someone who had so epically dumped their friendship without a second thought.

She moved to a payphone that had a phonebook still attached and quickly leafed through the pages until she got to the Ms. She didn’t see a Daria but there were four Ds listed so she started calling.

The first one was one David who accepted her apology, the second and third number had no answer and no answering machines and the forth was Darlene who sounded just like a cheerleader from high school.

Jane quickly scratched down the two address and number for the other Ds and started hailing a cab.

The first address was a dead-end as Daniel didn’t know anyone named Daria and no one answered at the second address as she knocked repeatedly on the door.

“Hey give it up already, no one is home.” A tall slacker looking guy said from the door directly across the hall.

“I’m looking for my friend.” Jane started and quickly described her.

“She moved out last year, wait I’ve got a number for her. I’m supposed to call her if any mail shows up.” The slacker said and went inside and returned with a business card.

“Daria Morgendorffer, tutoring and project assisting.” Jane read and copied down the number.

“Ya, I miss having her next door. She helped me pull my GPA up a full point.” The slacker said as he took the card back.

“Thank you.” Jane said and started down the hall dialing the number and waiting for an answer.

“This is Sally.” A sickly sweet voice answered.

“Um, yes, I’m calling for a Daria Morgendorffer.” Jane said.

“She’s not in right now but you can find her rates on her web site, do you need the address.” Sally said nicely.

“Um no, I’m a friend from back in Lawndale. I’m in Boston and wanted to get together or something.” Jane said knowing how lame it sounded.

“Oh, do you have her cell phone number?” Sally said.

“No but I’d greatly appreciate it.” Jane said gritting her teeth.

“Ok.” Sally said and read off the number then repeated it and had Jane read it back to her.

“She doesn’t have any classes today so she’s out on the town, if you can’t get hold of her, do you want me to take a message?” Sally offered.

“Yes, that’s a good idea, Tell her Jane Lane called and I’m in town and I would love to talk to her and see her.” Jane said before hanging up and staring at the number she had just wrote down.

:This is it, I found her.: Jane thought as she dialed the number.

Part 2 I saw.

She listened to the number ringing and when it picked up and she heard that unchanged voice answer.
“Hello, Morgendorffer Funeral home, you stab em, we slab em, you kill em, we chill em. How can I help you?”
Jane found her voice wouldn’t work and she hung up and sat down on the nearest bench.

She took several deep breaths and tried to work up the courage to dial the number again but couldn’t get her fingers to work. The conversion from years ago replayed in her mind again.

She started walking around trying to relax but her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t get the sound of Daria’s voice out of her head.
She found herself standing in front of an art museum and paid the 5 dollars to walk around looking at the art work for a while.
Instead of relaxing her it just reminded her even more of what changed from one conversion that could have gone a hundred different ways.
“I should have let her calm down before I talked to her.” Jane regretted looking at a decent copy of starry night. She flushed when she realized she said it aloud but no one nearby seemed to notice or care.

:She sounds just like back in high school, I wonder what she’s doing and how her family is.: Jane thought as she remembered the redheaded nightmare of a sister and workaholic mother and excitable father that shared some space in her memories of Daria.

She moved to sidewalk café and ordered a sandwich and juice to try to calm her nerves as she stared at her cell phone till she pressed redial. This time she couldn’t even hold off long enough for Daria to answer before she canceled the call.

:What am I doing? She doesn’t want to hear from me. We haven’t spoken in what, six years. Odds are she won’t even remember me.: Jane thought painfully as her food was placed in front of her.

Jane finished her lunch and started her walk back toward the hotel letting the setting sun relax her and take her mind off her current bout of cowardice. The vendors for the marathon were already closed up and packing to leave and the streets unblocked but still traffic was thin and few people passed her as she walked.

It was just after sunset when she reached her hotel and emptied her pockets on the bed as she kicked off her shoes.

The TV couldn’t hold her interest and she was to distracted to even tell what was happening as vapid characters went on about the smallest issues as if the really mattered.
:I didn’t think it was so vapid when they offered me a walk on roll after I got back with the silver.: Jane laughed at herself.

She picked up the phone and dialed the number again and waited.

“Hello.” Daria’s voice said.

“….” Jane tried to speak but only a weak moan made it past her lips.

“Look this is the third time today you called me so either say something or stop calling me.” Daria said sounding angry.

“H.i..” Jane stuttered.

“Ok, now we got that out of the way, who are you and what do you want?” Daria said already sounding amused.

“Hi.” Jane tried again.

“Hi yourself.” Daria replied.

“It’s me.” Jane said weakly.

“Ok, since you clearly know who I am, how about giving me a hint about who you are?” Daria teased.

“Jane.” Jane said finally.

“Ok, I don’t think I know any Jane’s are you in one of my classes or what.” Daria said nicely.

“Jane Lane, from Lawndale.” Jane said feeling more than a little hurt.

“No.” Daria said sounding shocked.

“Yes.” Jane countered.

“Um, what can I do for you?” Daria asked, her tone more guarded now.

“Well, I’m in Boston and I saw you earlier today and I thought we could get together. Compare notes on the old home town or whatever.” Jane said weakly.

“You saw me.” Daria said sounding like she didn’t believe her.

“Ya, during the marathon you were coming out of a bookstore.” Jane smirked.

“Does that mean you ran?” Daria said slightly tense.

“Yep, it was fun. Look I was just hoping to have dinner or lunch or something and talk for a while, if it’s a problem then don’t worry about it.” Jane said feeling disappointed.

“When?” Daria asked.

“Now, whenever.” Jane said hopefully.

“I’m taking care of some business today but if you still here tomorrow; we could get together for lunch. Where are you staying?” Daria relented.

“The Grand Hotel on University Ave. Room 325.” Jane answered.

“How about I swing by around 11:00 tomorrow and we can catch up over lunch.” Daria offered.

“Sounds great.” Jane said with a smile on her face.

“Ok, I have to go as duty calls.” Daria replied.

“See you in the morning. Oh and Daria, I ran into an old friend of yours and she said she missed you too.” Jane said before hanging up.

When the call ended she dropped the phone and started pacing around the hotel room trying to figure out how she was going to spend the next 15 hours or so.

She pooled her options and came up empty so she grabbed her stuff and headed downstairs to the bar and ordered a drink.

She was well into her third drink when a tall dark skinned gentleman sat down next to her and ordered a beer. The voice was strangely familiar and she looked up and gasped.

“Mack!” Jane exclaimed.

“Do I know…, Jane Lane. It’s been forever since I’ve seen you.” Michael Mackenize said with a smile as he turned in his seat to look at her.

“I haven’t seen you since graduation.” Jane replied and frowned when she realized that was the last time she saw almost anyone from her hometown.

“You went off to Texas state on a track ride right.” Mack said rubbing his now bald head.

“Ya, you were heading to Grant right.” Jane said.

“Yep and then a year with the Giants before I blew out my knee. Luckily I studied and the law degree I picked up was the real deal.” Mack said nodding to the cane he had leaned against the bar.

“Wow, I never figured you for the lawyer type.” Jane said.

“Got to do something, I wasn’t going to end up like Kevin.” Mack said shaking his head.

“What?” Jane asked.

“Got out of High School and got a full ride to Florida and then senior year got himself a kid then kicked off the team for grade fixing. He works at Disney now. I hear him and his wife are expecting the next kid already.” Mack downed his drink.

“That’s messed up, what brings you to Boston?” Jane asked.

“One of my clients just lost a fortune during an appeal and sent me up here to get one of his creditors to cut him some slack and take a payout plan. How about you?” Mack grinned.

“Marathon.” Jane said and waved the bartender over.

“I can tell you still run, you’re looking all kinds of great.” Mack flattered her.

“You sound like a man who isn’t sleeping alone tonight.” Jane flirted.

“Umm.” Mack said and waved his left hand, showing off the band on his third finger.

“Damn, I always had a crush on you.” Jane said as she ordered another drink and told the bartender to get Mack one too.

“Thank you but I think the wife might object.” Mack said politely.

“Do I know the lucky lady?” Jane asked.

“It’s Jodie. We broke up for two years in college but ended up back together and tied the knot last year.” Mack said with that look that said taken.

“Lucky girl, please tell me she’s mellowed some.” Jane laughed.

“A bit. Her dad has a son that’s old enough to mold now.” Mack shrugged.

“So Kevin’s playing Mickey Mouse and you’re a big shot lawyer, somehow that makes the universe feel right.” Jane mused.

His phone started ringing and he quickly answered it.
“Hey baby, Just stopped to get a few drinks before my flight. Really. Guess who I ran into, right now. No it’s not a movie star, Jane Lane from High School. She ran the Boston Marathon today. Jodie says hi.” Mack said as he continued his conversion.

“Well since I have to go to bed alone, I guess I say goodnight. Tell her I said chill out.” Jane laughed as she waved goodbye to Mack and headed for the elevators and pushed the third floor.

Four drinks didn’t affect her much but the hole she made in her mini-bar had her watching the room spin until she passed out.

She lifted her head and saw the clock mounted on the wall, 10:38 and she groaned as she tried to crawl out of the bed. A cold shower later had her feeling like a walking corpse and a few Advil and her head ease the pounding.

The room phone started ringing and she almost jumped through her skin to answer.

“Hello.” Jane said.

“Good Morning, this is the front desk. There is a visitor who asked us to ring you.” The snotty sounding voice informed her.

“If it’s a brown haired woman with glasses, tell her I’m on my way down now. Other wise I died.” Jane replied and hung up the phone and grabbed her phone and wallet and headed out the door.

She stood in the elevator trying to stop things from tapping as the trip down 3 floors seem to take forever.
:I'm terrified at the moment, she's like 5'2 for god's sake, I can take her.:

The doors opened and she spotted Daria at once and restrained the urge to yell or run over.

“Wow, what a surprise, I figured when I had them ring your room it would be your wake call and I’d be down here for an hour at least.” Daria smirked.

“Things change.” Jane shrugged with a tense smile.

“So what’s up?” Daria asked.

“Mind if we go grab some coffee before we start the gab fest. I made a bad choice about what to do last night.” Jane said honestly.

“Well if your eyes are any clue then I’ll bet you spent half the night getting hammered before passing out.” Daria sighed.

“Pretty much.” Jane admitted.

“C’mon you slacker.” Daria said and waved her toward the front door.

“I’m not a slacker, Trent was the slacker.” Jane joked.

“Ya.” Daria replied.

“You’ll never guess who I saw last night.” Jane said trying to engage Daria in some dialogue.

“Who?” Daria asked.

“Mack. Remember from Lawndale, he’s a lawyer and him and Jodie got married. Why do I feel like I’m telling you something you already know?” Jane stopped.

“I attended their wedding last year. I even flew down to Florida to attends Kevin’s.” Daria sighed as she pointed to a Jet Black Hummer that seemed no more than a few years old.

“Nice ride.” Jane whistled.

“Thanks. Any place particular you want to go?” Daria asked.

“Not really, I just got in the day before yesterday and I was kinda of busy all day so all I’ve seen of this town is what I saw trying to catch up with you.” Jane admitted.

“So some place for coffee and lunch and conversion, I think I know just the place.” Daria said and pulled from the curb and started down the road.

“Are you cool with this?” Jane asked.

“I’m not sure yet, it’s been a long time and to be honest I’m still expecting to wake up.” Daria answered as she hopped on the highway and headed out of Boston.

Jane sat in silence for 20 minutes before they took an exit and started down what appeared to be several back roads then a dirt road.

“Um getting rid of the evidence.” Jane joked nervously.

“Relax.” Daria said and pointed to the log cabin that she parked next to and opened her door.

“Where are we?” Jane asked looking around.

“My house, sorry but you’re not going to get the kind of coffee you need at the moment anywhere else and we can talk here.” Daria said as she started toward the front door of the rustic cabin.

“Ok, but the coffee had better be damn good.” Jane said as she followed behind her.

Part 3 I remember.

Jane looked around as she stood in the threshold of the cabin surprised by what she saw. Everything outside seemed to be old but the inside was covered in modern furniture and one wall was a giant LCD screen that seemed to be made up of other screens.

“Close the door before Fred gets out.” Daria said as she started making coffee in kitchen that bordered the main room.

“Fred?” Jane said as she closed the door and turned back to find herself looking a German Sheppard that had a strange tilt to its head as it checked her out.

“Don’t worry he won’t bite.” Daria called from the kitchen and Jane hurried toward her voice.

“Um, there’s a horse or something in your living room.” Jane joked.

“That would be Fred. He’s my watchdog.” Daria smiled as she dumped at least three times the suggest grounds into the filter and started the coffee brewing.

“I poured you a cup of left over from this morning, it’s stronger than anything you might get out of a shop but it’s not up to your old standard.” Daria said and handed Jane the coffee.

“Thank you.” Jane said and slugged down the coffee and sighed at the watery nature.

“So you got second place in the marathon yesterday.” Daria said as Jane looked around the kitchen.

“How’d you know?” Jane asked.

Daria pointed to the table where Jane’s face stared back at herself smiling just minutes after finishing the race.

“So how you been?” Daria asked.

“Finished high school and then went to college because of track, graduated with a degree I can’t do spit with but the Olympics were nice and NIKE offered me a great sponsorship that will let me sit on my lazy butt for the rest of my life as long as I don’t go crazy. You?” Jane finished the coffee.

“Well went to college and got my degrees so I decided to get a doctorate so I transferred to Harvard and I’m working on finishing up my degrees in Political Science and Historical Translation.” Daria shrugged.

“Will I have to call you Doctor Daria when you’re done?” Jane smiled.

“You planning on being around a year from now?” Daria asked.

“I’d like to think we could be friends again.” Jane replied.

“I don’t need friends that are only there when the mood suits them.” Daria pushed.

“I shouldn’t have let everything get out of hand back in Lawndale.” Jane admitted.

“I shouldn’t have judged you. I had no right but it hurt to see that something matter more than our friendship.” Daria sighed.

“It didn’t. I want to have a friend again, a real one.” Jane said.

“That would be up to you.” Daria smirked.

Jane looked at the floor and sighed.
“Ok, I know this was out of the blue but I saw you and I just had to talk to you and … is that one of my paintings?” Jane said pointing on the wall behind Daria.

“Yes.” Daria laughed and pointed around the room and toward the main living room.

“I remember these. I painted them back in High School.” Jane said as she looked down the hall and saw her work staring back at her.

“After we stopped being friends I kept up with Trent and after you two had that fight about you going to Texas he told me he was tossing all of it out. I didn’t want that to happen so I rescued it.” Daria answered the question she hadn’t asked yet.

“You saved a lot of it.” Jane said looking around.

“No, I saved all of it.” Daria said and pointed down the hall. “First door on the right.”

Jane moved down the hall and opened the door and found stacks of her work, even some of her statues and projects, everything that she had made seemed to be here. Jane stared at the 16 year old girl that stared out at her from the pictures and left the room, returning to where Daria was pouring her a cup of fresh sludge.

“Why?” Jane asked as she drank some of the coffee.

“I didn’t want it to disappear.” Daria answered.

“I dumped you for a guy and some popularity and you still saved my work.” Jane said looking ashamed.

“I liked your work. It always speaks to me and I couldn’t let it go to the landfill.” Daria admitted taking a seat at her table.

“Thank you.” Jane said floored by respect and admiration such an act showed.

“I guessed he would want them back when he calmed down and I was right. Start of winter break he called and wanted to make arrangements for me to bring them back.” Daria said looking depressed.

“So why do you still have them?” Jane asked looking confused.

“The accident was two days later.” Daria said sadly.

“What accident?” Jane asked.

Daria looked up and looked over at her with a tear running down her face.

“What accident?” Jane repeated.

“You don’t know!” Daria said looking stricken.

“Know what?” Jane demanded.

“You walked so completely out of everyone’s life but I thought you would have talked to someone since then.” Daria said as more tears joined the first rolling down from her eyes.

“Nobody returns my calls. I leave messages and nothing. I even went back to the house and no one was there.” Jane said looking worried now.

“Oh god.” Daria said and she got up from the table and called the dog to her and led it into the back of the house and closed it in.

“What’s going on Daria, damn it tell me?” Jane demanded.

“He doesn’t like loud noises, it makes him jumpy and he might attack.” Daria said nodding to the door.

“Daria why are you acting like this, what don’t I know?” Jane said grabbing the shorter girl’s shoulder and held her tightly.

“It was winter and the band was coming back from Fremont, another world tour. The brakes went out and they hit a semi. None of them survived. I tried to reach you but I couldn’t. Your sister Summer showed up at the funeral and my folks and a few of the band’s friends. Trent died 6 years ago.” Daria said shaking.

Jane shook her head and pulled away from the other girl and grabbed the table and flipped it over and started screaming.

“NO, NO YOUR LYING TO ME. TAKE IT BACK YOU BITCH TAKE IT BACK.” Jane said advancing on Daria and pushing her into the wall.

“TAKE IT BACK TRENT’S NOT DEAD.” Jane screamed at her.

Daria struggled against the grip of the grief stricken woman who was squeezing her shoulders so tightly that Daria couldn’t move her arms.

“Jane, I can’t take it back, it’s the truth.” Daria said not understanding.

“NO YOUR LYING YOU JUST WANT TO HURT ME TRENT’S FINE TELL THE TRUTH.” Jane screamed at her.

“Jane, I’m sorry. I thought you knew.” Daria cried.

“NO, NO NOT TRENT!” Jane screamed and fell against Daria who wrapped her arms against the screaming woman.

“Please take it back, anyone but him please.” Jane sobbed against her.

Daria didn’t speak, just let her friend cry on her until the sobs stopped and Jane pulled back at least two hours after hearing that her brother had died.

“Oh god, what have I done?” She said as she stumbled out of the kitchen and into the living room and fell onto the couch.

“Nothing.” Daria said.

“I killed my brother.” Jane said looking like she believed it.

“You were in Texas so how did you that?” Daria said confused.

“I should have been there for him, if I had been driving, maybe I could have done something.” Jane stated strongly.

“The brakes went out on the Tank; if you had been driving you would have died to.” Daria said.

“THEN I SHOULD HAVE DIED WITH HIM.” Jane screamed at her.

“Why?” Daria said honestly.

“What?” Jane asked looking angry.

“You traded our friendship for a letterman jacket and Trent for a dorm room in Texas.” Daria demanded.

“I never planned to.” Jane said hanging her head down.

“But you still did and I’m sorry Trent’s dead but you didn’t cause it and you couldn’t have made a difference. I’m more to blame than you are.” Daria said harshly.

“How do you see that?” Jane snorted.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away.” Daria said.

“I shouldn’t have let you.” Jane countered.

“You were an artist and yes, you ran and I should have been able to see that both things were equal parts of you. But I didn’t make you stop painting or turn your back on the only person in your family who ever treated you like you mattered. I’m sorry about Trent, he was like a big brother to me even after we stopped being friends and I still remember when I got the call from the state police. He carried my number in his wallet, it said Janey’s friend and my number. I miss him to this day. I have a closet with his extra guitar and amp in it and I take it out and hold it like he used to do when he slept. I have all the recordings that they made back then and I still listen to them.” Daria said leaning against the wall.

“I’m worse than them all.” Jane said.

“What?” Daria said.

“The wandering Lanes. At least they come home every once in awhile. I just walked out and never looked back. He was my brother but he was my dad to, in every way that mattered.” Jane cried.

“So now what?” Daria asked.

“Don’t stand there and give me that look. You think I don’t know that this is all my fault. You think I don’t know what’s wrong with my life, what’s missing? I know exactly where my life fell apart and what went wrong.” Jane yelled grabbing Daria again and holding her against the wall.

“Ya and what’s that?” Daria said confused by this off shoot of ranting.

Jane froze not understanding what she was saying anymore than her friend did. She looked in the face, almost a full head shorter than her and tried to regain the thought that had left her.

“I had it, but it’s gone now.” Jane said before backing away.

“I missed you.” Daria said tearfully.

“I missed you and I didn’t even realize it.” Jane said.

“When was the last time you painted?” Daria asked.

“Do the walls of my apartment count?” Jane said and felt the anger leave and the shame return. The 16 year old girl stared back at her again from within her eyelids.

“Maybe you should, it always helped you work things out, that or running.” Daria said.

“I don’t have anything to paint with.” Jane said and sighed. “You do though don’t you?”

“Second door on the left, please don’t insult my work, it sucks, I know it but I am a writer not a painter.” Daria said and pointed down the hall.

“I don’t even remember how.” Jane said as she stood up and looked down the hallway.

“I’ll make us some lunch and you try to remember.” Daria said and pushed her toward the hall.



Daria made of a salad of everything produce she had and diced up some lunchmeat and mixed it all together. When she was done she carried two plates down the hall and pushed open the door and almost jumped at the sight in front of her.

Jane was standing before the canvas looking possessed covered in paint and she paused frozen in mid stroke turned toward Daria. A near perfect picture of Trent resided on the canvas. Jane put down the brush and grabbed a rag and wiped at the paint that seemed to cover her and walked to Daria and carefully took the plates from her and set them on the ground and hugged her friend tightly.

“I remember now.” Jane said.